• The TL:DR - Helps w Ballot Access and I was No Party Preference Anyway

Recently, I decided to Green Enter. It was not a decision I came to immediately or haphazardly. I thought about it for a long time, and decided it was the most constructive thing I could do in the electoral sense. Here’s a list at to why, as well as some of the common responses you’ll get from Naysayers.

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By Ron Placone
February 9, 2024

First, before we begin, a few pertinent pieces of information:

-I live in California. I’m not mentioning this as a way to persuade or dissuade anyone in any way regardless of where they live. I’m just mentioning it because it is my situation, so inevitably it factored into my decision.

-I was registered No Party Preference for the past four years. In California, being registered NPP is easier to do because you’re not missing all that much. More on that later.

Common response #1: “You’re voting for Trump!”

The reality:

First of all, just because I’m registered with a party doesn’t mean I’m obligated to vote for their candidate in a Presidential, for the record. I’m registered Green but I might vote for SocialistUSA, I might vote for an Independent, I might leave it blank, etc. You don’t have to vote for the candidate of the party you’re registered as in any General Election. If the person stating this false and lazy cliche is a Democrat, they of all people should know this. After all, a bunch of them voted for Bush instead of Gore in the 2000 election, one of the main reasons that election turned out the way it did. (I still refuse to say Bush ‘won’ in 2000, he didn’t, he occupied the White House for four years illegally, nothing was done and we’re still suffering as a country because of it). So, just cuz I’m registered a certain way, don’t assume my vote.

But, let’s go ahead and say I’m not gonna vote for either of the two (in 2024 there’s likely to be three) Wall Street-sponsored candidates. Again, I live in California. The US has this abysmal thing called the Electoral College. It’s gross and undemocratic but because we have it, my vote for President counts for virtually nothing. I live in a decided state that the Democrat will win. We basically only have the Democratic Party in California, more on that later. So, my registering Green only helps one entity: The Green Party. Why? Because a certain number of registrations are needed to maintain ballot access. Also, if I do vote Green in a general, again, the electoral votes in California won’t go to the Green. So the only entity I helped is, once again, The Green Party. Why? Because if a candidate gets 5% of the vote they would get matching federal funds. It’s a stupid and arbitrary system, but it’s the one we’re forced to operate in. May as well try to use it as productively as possible.

Response #2: “The Green Party will never be a mainstream party in the US!”

They’re not a mainstream party anywhere else either. In countries with systems that are still flawed but significantly less disgusting than ours, pretty much all left-wing parties aren’t the mainstream parties. Usually there are two mainstream parties and one is more center-left, one is more center-right. But, those left-wing parties hold a few seats in government, so they form alliances, coalitions, and the rest the mainstream party representatives need to get votes from the lefty representatives to get things done. That’s why most other countries are not as far-right as the United States. They have elected officials across the political spectrum to deal with so they can only be so extreme. Looking at the absolute broken down toilet that passes for mainstream politics in the United States, I’m perfectly fine being outside of that, in fact, I can’t imagine it any other way.

I’m not saying this to discourage the Green Party from trying to grow, of course it should and the sky’s the limit. I’m just saying there are still incentives to build power even if the Greens are never as big as the Republicans or Democrats, which is obviously the case in the present moment.

Response #3: “But our system is only set-up for two parties!”

And look at how well that’s been working out. At the path we’re going eventually you’re going to be told to hold your nose and vote for Trump Jr. because it’s the only way to keep a Mussolini hologram from being elected. Yes, our system is set-up for only 2 parties. But laws change. Systems change. It’s time for this one to change, hell, it’s been time.

Response #4: “The Green Party did *insert grievance here* and that pissed me off!”

Ok? The Green Party has done some things that’ve pissed me off, too. They’ve done some things I’ve disagreed with. Now that I am a registered member…neither of those two things will change. It’s a political party, not a cult. I won’t agree with every single move, strategy or candidate, and not every single person will always agree with me, but I’ll have a direct say and I’ll give my input. If you’re looking for the perfect political party that checks every single box for you at every moment on every issue, hell, let me know when you find it. It’s probably coming from inside your head.

Now, some reasons why I decided to Green Enter:

• This is probably the most obvious, but, the Green Party fits my personal politics. I’m a lefty, probably best described as an eco-socialist if I could only check one box. I support Universal healthcare, Tuition-Free College, Living wages, Unions, LGBTQ+ rights, Women’s rights, Racial Justice, Reparations, a Federal Jobs Guarantee, a Nordic model of social spending, Housing first, Digital rights, bold Climate action, local food and slow eating, and while this isn’t a full list I think you get the idea. I oppose war, militarization and capitalism. No adjective is necessary in front of the word capitalism. It’s not crony capitalism, it’s not corporate capitalism, whatever sugar you want to sprinkle on the turd that is capitalism it’s still capitalism. I’m against it. Period. Yes, I participate in it as much I need to in order to survive and have a quality life, we all do. That doesn’t make us capitalists, that makes us survivors. 

• The Green Party is the furthest along left-wing party we have in the US. There are other left-wing parties in the US and I have no qualms with any of them. This isn’t meant to be disparaging of any other party, but the Green Party has over 100 members who hold office in some capacity. The only third party in the US who has more than that is the Libertarian Party. So, the Green Party’s the furthest along left-wing electoral project we’ve got.

• The Green Party is focused on, for the most part, the strategic items a political party should be focused on. Ranked Choice Voting, Campaign Finance Reform, these are among the main pillars a third party should be focused on in the US if they want to build power and change the rules so that third parties have a better chance. 

• The Green Party is international. While nothing is cast in stone yet, my household and I are strongly considering a move to either Italy or Scotland. In both cases, the Green Party is an affiliate party of the political party I’d be likely to join. I say ‘likely’ because it’s hard to say definitively until you’re actually in a place, but on first glance if I lived in Italy I’d be likely to join Sinistra Italiana, and if I lived in Scotland I’d be likely to join the Green Party UK. Again, would need to do more digging to say that for sure, but you get the idea. It’s worth mentioning that out of all the main office-holding parties in the United States the Green Party is the only one with an international foot print. The left-wing parties in general are the only ones with any international footprint. That’s because even though we are the modern empire, our politics are absolutely absurd to the rest of the industrialized world.

   

  The Republican Party is an absolute horror show that makes other dominant right-wing parties look like charities in comparison. Noam Chomsky calls it one of the greatest threats to humankind and he is correct.

   

  The Democratic Party, a party that would be considered a right-wing party in virtually any other pseudo-democratic experiment on earth, is a vapid shell of a political operation that stands for absolutely nothing except “we’re capitalists and we’re not as crazy as those other guys.” They’re the political party equivalent of a middle schooler who forgot to do their book report and had to give a presentation in front of the class anyway. They’re inspiring to absolutely nobody with any awareness whatsoever, people usually vote for them out of desperation. The dwindling amount of people who actually find them inspiring are in a very boring cult. They convince themselves the Democratic Party is inspiring and that NPR is interesting. I’m not sure what’s all in that Kool-Aid but I’d imagine Bill Maher’s farts are among the ingredients. Fortunately, everyone outside of the US is spared this banal ideology, and the world may or may not realize how lucky they are.

   

  Libertarianism is a completely reactionary ideology. While there are some things vaguely similar to it around the world, there’s nothing quite like that which exists in the US. The reason for this is it’s an inevitable reaction to a government that operates under pure corporate capture, ignores public opinion and works solely for war profits at the expense of the people who live there. This description of the contemporary United States is the most diplomatic one I’ve got. Their entire ideology is based on a mediocre novel written by someone who, ironically enough, spent the last years of her life being a complete hypocrite. While the common tale that she died broke and on Welfare is disputed and likely false, Ayn Rand’s extreme and dogmatic determination towards individualism made her mere acceptance of Social Security completely hypocritcal. And yes, she accepted Social Security. She single-handedly proved, by example, that libertarianism just straight up doesn’t work. It’s contrary to human nature. It looks good on paper, and it’s hard to argue against because it operates under the assumption that we’re all widgets and human behavior isn’t a thing. That isn’t reality. Sorry.

   

  So, while being a lefty in the United States is like being a surfer in Nebraska and the only way to get to the ocean is by walking, take solace that you have more in common with the rest of the world than any other political tribe in the US. I don’t know if that is comforting in any way, but, hey, take it for what it’s worth.

• California. In California we have jungle primaries, where the top 2 finishers make the run-off. We also have non-affiliated local races. For the most part, people can vote for whoever they want in any election except Presidential primaries. Since the Democrats pretty much aren’t even having a primary this time around, can’t say I feel like I’m missing anything. While I like the system in California better than any other one I’ve experienced in the US, it’s still a pretty lousy one. Also, because the Democratic Party is so powerful in this state it’s a beyond jumbled mess. We have everything from Socialists trying to infiltrate the party, to literal Republicans going Democrat because they know they won’t win otherwise. It’s ridiculous. Strategic differences, some deviation on certain issues, that’s expected in any political party. But, Republicans and Socialists in the SAME party? That makes no sense whatsoever. I have many friends and colleagues trying to infiltrate the party and turn the machine against itself, so to speak, I totally get it. I applaud their efforts and wish them nothing but success, at the end of the day we’re all on the same team and at the end of the day electoralism in general isn’t my bag anyway. It’s just, the way I see it this Frankenstein garbage monster of a political experiment needs to change, and while that’s a very tall glass of water, joining an alternative party is at least a start.

In closing, to reiterate, I’m not trying to convince anyone to register or vote a certain way. That ain’t me, never has been. Whenever I’m accused online of telling people how to vote or who to vote for I ask for a receipt, at which time the accuser crawls back under whichever troll bridge they came from.

I also understand that not everyone’s situation is the same. The Left spends tons of time arguing over Dem Enter versus Dem Exit, have for generations. While I don’t think these discussions are worthless, I think the stark reality of it is that not all situations are the same, so naturally, not all paths to change are going to be the same. For somebody who lives in rural Alabama and wants to run for City Council and they can run unopposed as a Democrat, maybe Dem Entering is for them. (I have no idea if local elections anywhere in rural Alabama are party-affiliated or not it’s just an example I’m making up to over-explain the point you’ve already gotten by now).

So, take this merely for information and entertainment sake and by all means do you. I live in California, and I chose to Green enter. I don’t think this makes me right or wrong nor do I think I did anything noteworthy. I’ve even argued with other third party folks on Twitter in the past as I find some of the self-congratulating that goes on to be counterproductive, stifling and cringe. My Green entering doesn’t make me any better than anyone else, but it sure as hell doesn’t make me any worse.

Ron Placone is a comedian. He has been seen on The Discovery Channel, CrossTalk, FreeSpeechTV, Redacted Tonight, TMZ, and more. He can be seen regularly on Status Coup. He hosts the podcast, 1000 w/ Ron Placone. His debut album, "Agnostic Holiday" is in rotation on SiriusXM. He writes the comic, Lucy & Ron. His short-film/pilot, Loner, was released in 2023 and his first feature, Left At Wall, is out now!